Joe Pauls Nimisha Kavitha --Ozhi Ozhi... Veendum Ozhi... Wa Wa WAAWA

DADDY! HOW WAS I BORN? Junior asks his dad.




His dad, who is a software engineer sighs and replies, Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway!



Well, I saw your mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button.

Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self extracting file which had implanted in her BIOS.



Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said:

.

.

.

You have Got Male



SREEKU

Sreeku Jokes

One day a woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did.

Then the doctor asked the woman, "Does it hurt you?" She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."

The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

Great Sex Positions from Guru Joe's Table

After a while, even the best relationships can do with a bit of spicing up.

Couples can get complacent, and a vigourous nightly ritual can become a lazy once a month activity.

But it's never too late to inject some fun and excitement into your love life.

If you're looking for some exciting, athletic, kinky and perverted sex positions, let us be your guide. The Karma Sutra is thousands of years old, and quite frankly, a bit old fashioned in these modern times. We've updated that old sex positions manual with some new ones that will make your sex life tuly orgasmic.

These great sex positions will make your love life stronger (and potentially put out your lower back, so please make sure you're paid up on your health insurance before you try them).

• Ken and Barbie style - Neither partner is allowed to bend at the elbows or knees.
• Doggie style - The man attempts to do the impossible.
• Froggie style - Male and female partners in large spa. Male attempts to fertilise female using only the water as a transmission medium. For couples who don’t like each other much any more.
• Fish style - same as Froggie style, but neither partner may use their arms or legs.
• Mummy and Daddy Love Each Other Very Much, And Hug Each Other in A Special Way style - The only position in this list you won’t be embarrassed to tell the kids about when they're five.
• Style style - Sex with a Vogue Living editor.
• Crouch position - Each partner crouches down on the ground, then simultaneously leaps up, and attempts to couple whilst in mid-air.
• Couch position - Same as the crouch position, but starting at opposite ends of the living room couch.
• Ouch position - Usual outcome of the crouch position.
• Lazy Susan style - Susan goes to sleep.
• Russian style - Partners queue for hours for enough vodka to make each other look attractive.
• Nostrodamus sex - Any encounter that comes as a complete surprise.
• Osama Bin Laden’s position - If you know this position, please contact the FBI for your $25 million reward.
• Bank style - Screw the customers.
• Missionary position - Each partner kneels and prays.

Have you ever wondered??

- Can you cry under water?

- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

- Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

- What did cured ham actually have?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Message from 10 Downing Street


London SW1



Dear people of the United Kingdom.

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the

economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put

workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme

will be known as RAPE(Retire Aged People Early).



Persons selected for RAPE can apply to the Government to be eligible

for the SHAFT scheme(Special Help After Forced Termination).



Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the

SCREW program(Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be

RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government

deems appropriate.



Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for

Dependants & Spouse) or

HERPES( Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or

SCREWED any further by the Government.



Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much

SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has

always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you

feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the

attention of

your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.







I am writing this with “Verdana-14” font since you are above 50 years.



Sincerely,

GORDON BROWN

Ans to pateint questions

Hi...patients...this poor man was using his pump over time in his younger days... to correct that unomne..ethar uthar pakadkar uska wash leak ho gaya... any way to correct that he fixed a 6 mm steel road inside the suna.. now became ever KAMBI..problem is not much lubrication..but the for necessity it will be sufficient... so never overwork your piston in younger days... other wise it will be paralysed as our friend..




dr. adcdefght

msrdcajma

What Is a SIM Clone?

SIM cloning is the process in which a legitimate SIM card is duplicated. When SIM cloning is completed, the cloned SIM card's identifying information is transferred onto a separate, secondary SIM card. The secondary card can then be used in a different phone while having all calls and associated charges attributed to the original SIM card. The phrase SIM clone is often used to refer to the SIM card that has been successfully duplicated.

A successful duplication hinges on the a user's ability to extract the SIM card's IMSI (International Mobile Subscriber Identifier) and Authentication key (Ki). While a IMSI is relatively easy to identify, finding the Ki can prove to be much more difficult for the novice user. Separate devices and software programs may have to be used to decrypt the Ki.

Engaging in activities that can result in a SIM clone is illegal. In the 1990s, companies that provided cellular services recognized the problems that SIM cloning presented and began to take measures to thwart the SIM cloning business. New security measures such as embedding security operations make obtaining a SIM clone more difficult. Now, if a SIM card detects that cloning has been engaged, the SIM card can render itself inoperable. Whereas a few years ago cloning could be done by radio, those interested in obtaining SIM clone must now have physical access to the original SIM card.

Though SIM cloning was easier with older models of cell phones and can still be technically done today, successfully completing a cloning is very difficult for some and virtually impossible for most. Most of the technology currently available to facilitate cloning is meant to work only on older models of phones. Anti-tamper software on V2 of3G SIM cards makes cloning new SIM cards and their corresponding devices a lost effort.

As attractive as obtaining a SIM clone may seem to individuals who desire to use two phones with one phone number, legal and technical difficulties should discourage any efforts to clone SIM cards. It should also be noted that though using a SIM clone can appear convenient in some respects, safety issues may also present themselves as a result of using the clone. Law enforcement agencies may find it difficult to reach an injured or distressed party if an emergency call is made by a phone using a clone. This is because clones compromise the GSM location-based service that SIM cards rely on.

What Is Spy Phone Software And What Are Its Advantages

The advancement in mobile phone surveillance has taken a massive leap in technology and a whole new range of fantastic features. It utilizes the most powerful software applications for remotely monitoring an individuals mobile phone activities from ANYWHERE in the world. Its software solutions that will turn any regular GSM Nokia cell phone into a high end surveillance device.

The spy software and features available are the end result of an extensive beta testing program eliminating the need for any hardware applications whatsoever. The technology is time tested and is being used by users around the world. Using 100% software based technology, the availability of the most powerful and trace resistant spy phones on the planet has become possible.

Spy Phone Software feature the latest achievements in irremovable spy gear technology, hence it is incorporated directly into the device's Hardware and is completely undetectable.

If you are a worried husband / wife / father / boss looking for reliable professional spying equipment, which is very simple to use and that works with any SIM card in the world and from everywhere in the world, this Spy phone software will fulfill you need...

Advantages of Spy phone Software

1. Since the Spy Phone is a spy gear which is based on the cellular network, it has a virtually unlimited scope of transmission. This means that you can phone tap calls, receive a copy of all SMS or track the SpyPhone anytime and anywhere.

2. Spy Phone software is embedded in the phone's core memory and is completely hidden and irremovable. It is impossible for anyone to "accidentally" find out what the spy phone really does.

3. The spy phone is a spy gear that will operate usual regardless to any changes made by the phone-holder. (SIM card / phone- number replacement, phone de-activation, Object movements or cellular zone changes etc.)

4. Unique "Play Dead" mode allows the master to remotely de-activate the phone without interrupting any ongoing spy- features.

5. All actions made through the spy phone are logged on the Master-Phone and can be saved for future use.

6. "Bogus SMS" may help the master set "traps" and reveal the Objects darkest secrets.

Wireless camera hunter

The wireless camera hunter is a device used for spying the one spying you actually! Through this device you can check out all the hidden wireless cameras present in the area. Now, you need not fear about a person keeping track about your movements. The device has a LCD light and an audible alarm system that can go on and off according to your wish. Different capacity devices have different frequency range. There is an attached battery and charger. Then there are auto and manual tuners so that you can check the hidden camera  at all frequency level. For further information of any kind you need to search the net. There are many online dealers who will provide you the device at massively cut down rates.

ASK THE DOCTOR

Ask your questions to Dr. Sreeku!!!( Viagra specialist )

Ethu valiya kambikalkkum contractor kambikalkkum chodyam chodikkam!!!
ചോദ്യത്തിന് നിയമപരമായ അംഗീകാരം കിട്ടാന്‍ വേണ്ടി വക്കീല്‍ ബാനര്ജീയെ ചുമതലപെടുതിയിട്ടുണ്ട് 

Easter Visesangal..............

From Soth Kerala....

Wilson ----  Started his easter with chicken dressing.....
                              First Drink: Chilled Bear with "Morpheus" Brandy.....
                              First Snack: Porkum Kayayam........
                              Easter Message:  Enthum eppozhum Mix Cheithe
                              adikkave........   Drink ayalum...       Concrete ayalummmm........

Franky:      Started his day with an outing with "Bruno"- his
                    patty
                    First Drink: Kumbalanga Juice.
                              First snack:  Puttu & Kadala......mixed with Malayani
                              Easter Message:--  Easterinu ellavereyum Kambiyakkam.
Paul Banenjee:  6 am - Adattu para.....  fishing------  for   
                     "Braaaaal"----  got 2 brals ... one for mahila
                     congress leader and one for him...
                    First Drink: DSP with kole chalile water.. (chilled with minerals)
                              First Snack :  Pork & Koorka....   with a bral fry.
                              Easter Message:  Kuru Kuru , Kuru Kuru, Kuru Kuru, Kuru Kuru,  Kuru Kure

Sojan Pariba: 5.30 onwawards----  running behind a chicken -(adutha veettile..)  ----  avanu pirake 2 pattikalumundu......  so far veettilethiyittilla....  ippole out of ranje.........  patti kadicho avo......  


Members pls update the easter messages.

for all Kunjads,

Charter Pre.

Proverb on Lawyers in some contries.

1. A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for. -English.
2. Preachers purge the conscience, doctors the body, lawyers the purse. - German
3. "Virtue is in the middle," said the devil, as he sat down between two lawyers. - Danish
4. Lawyers and painters can soon change black to white. - Danish
5. A lawsuit is a fruit-tree planted in a lawyer's garden. - Italian
6. A bad agreement is better than a good lawyer. - Italian
7. Love all men but not lawyers - Irish Proverb
8. With books and money plac'd, for show,
Like nest-eggs, to make clients lay,
And for his false opinions pay.
No lawyer will ever go to heaven
so long as there is room for more in hell. - French proverb

Message from franklin

നമസ്കാരം
എല്ലാ പരദൂഷണം അംഗങ്ങള്‍ക്കും ചെയര്‍മാന്‍ ഫ്രാങ്ക്ലിന്റെ പേരില്‍ സ്വാഗതം പറയുന്നു.
ചെയര്‍മാന്റെ ഉദ്ദേശം എല്ലാ അംഗങ്ങളും നെറ്റ് വഴി പരദൂഷണം പറഞ്ഞു മോഡേണ്‍ യുഗത്തിന്റെ വക്തക്ക്ലാകണം എന്നത് തന്നെയാണ്.
ആവടി ദിവസങ്ങള്‍ പരടോഷനതിനായി ചെലവിടുക പ്ലീസ്...

From Guru Joe Pauls Table

Eight golden rules to approach a woman..

• Make eye contact before you approach: Eye contact can do a lot for you. If she holds your gaze and glances your way every now and then, look at it as a positive sign. However, if she refuses to look at you, your chances are slim.

• Don't express interest in her friends as well as her: Hitting on two women in the same group won't work.

• Make her feel like she's the most desirable woman in the world: It never fails to work.

• Don't avoid complimenting her even if you think she's heard it before: Everyone loves to hear their praise. Make sure you compliment the girl. However, don't over exaggerate or try to flatter her.

• Avoid cliches and pre-packaged pickup lines: Using a cliche will make a woman think that you are trying to hard to get a date with anyone who will fall for your oneliners.

• Don't be too pushy: Even if you do approach a woman in a disco, don't be too pushy. If she is not comfortable giving her number, respect her decision.

• Know when to walk away: Accept rejection and walk away before you end up with a black eye.

New blog for PD Members

Welcom to our new Blog

City's swantham blog.